As many of you may already know, I recently took a trip to visit family in Ohio. Lou has spent his entire life making visits to the state. This was only my second time there. Ever.
I learn many things when I’m in this strange land (strange to me, at least). So, of course, it’s time for a list. Here’s a little round up of what I’ve learned so far, in no particular order.
1. I don’t know diddly about dirt.
It’s true. We had multiple conversations about dirt while we visited (Ohioans will ask you about your dirt so be prepared). Lou managed to intelligently answer questions about our AZ dirt. I just kept nodding.
2. Field corn is different from sweet corn.
I learned this during trip #1 and felt slightly superior during trip #2 for owning this bit of information. Field corn tastes bad to humans but is fed to livestock (and used for lots of other things, I’m assuming). Sweet corn is for people to eat. You will be mocked if you don’t know this.
3. I’m afraid of large animals.
Yep, horses and cows freak me out. I’ve just never been around the beasts so when it’s time to pet them, all I can think is, one head-butt from this thing and I’m a goner.
4. I can wear shorts.
There’s just something about showing my thighs to the world that really bums me out. But, with that soul-destroying heat wave, it was an essential part of everyone’s wardrobe. Thankfully, no one ran away screaming.
5. On that note, I am PALE.
I’ve never been one for tanning and it shows. My exposed legs were practically glowing by comparison to the super-tan Ohio people. Is this why I got so many mosquito bites?
6. I’m not a good drinker.
Those Ohio kids can put it away. I always believed that, because of my size, I could hold my own. I can’t.
7. There is no “g” in “ing”.
In Ohio, people keep talkin’ and sayin’ and prayin’ and droppin’ their g’s.
8. Also, “th” turns to “d”.
9. Wet heat is the worst thing in the whole world.
I have purposely avoided humid summer weather for the past 16 years since my last encounter in Florida. I’ll take 115 dry over 100 wet any day.
10. Our garden in Phoenix is pathetic.
With our lousy dirt, it’s no wonder.